it’s been a while… my last real post was like july last year, and i missed doing this damn too much. the past months? i wasn’t really busy, i can’t even remember fully what i did or where i was, all i know is that things were CRAZY and FREAKY.
i stayed in manila til august 2010, went home to my province to celebrate my birthday…by october, i went back to manila to look for a good-paying job, unfortunately, there was none for me 
and before october ended, i went back to aparri to attend the funeral of my friend SARAH 
, since then, i’ve been stuck here in aparri, doing nothing, watching the world pass me by. sounds boring, i know, but it wasn’t… it was rather exciting. i was out with my friends almost every day and night… we would hang out doing nothing serious, most of the time we’d laugh about silly things that we see, hear or talk about… i watched my relationship with coke turn its love switch on and off, and i’ve seen how hard we’ve tried to stick together. i enjoyed the holidays with my family, but before that fun part, i went through some things that are remarkable. i got depressed. things didn’t go my way, they went out of my control…and there was nothing i could do, and even if there was, i could’ve failed. i wasn’t really that depressed though, not the suicidal type… days just went soo slow and dull, lifeless then i started hating the taste of beer and cigarette…i’m not sure if it was a coping mechanism of some sort, but bless that day 
weeks after, i found out that i was pregnant 
december 21, 2010, positive. ok, ok..i wasn’t really that shocked, i didn’t even feel nervous nor afraid, i felt ALONE knowing that neil and i were not doing well… and soo i sought the help of my friends. i tried to outside as long as i could and my friends were very helpful. much as i wanted to go out every day and night, i wasn’t able to because of those pregnancy symptoms that’s been bugging me. i celebrated the holidays half-happy, half-lonely…i wasn’t sad, i just felt soo alone during those times. but then it came to me, i shouldn’t be worried of anything, i shouldn’t feel lonely, coz there’s a creature inside me…feeling whatever i was feeling. and soo i tried to enjoy stuffs the best way could. by january, things between me and neil were settled, his family came by march to have the what you call “pamamanhikan”, we got married by april, and by then we never separated sweet and now we’re expecting a baby boi….
it was CRAZY. up until now, if i look back on those times, on those happenings, i still can’t believe they happened…i’m not even sure if i sucked it all up in my system already…sheeesh! that’s a lot to take in. when i look back on those times, i can’t help but let go of a sigh and smile.
i am happee i’m married to the man of my dreams, we’re having a baby boi this coming august, our families are there guiding and helping us, our friends are always there supporting us…the sphere of my freaking world is burning with love sigh…it was freaky, but i am grateful that all of these things happened…they are living proof that i am alive…they happened the least i expect them, and if surprises like these keeps on happening? living is even more fun and exciting
